最近情绪不好（英文版）

These days, a terrible thought stuck me and it tried to convey the message that some of my intimate friends and I have already reached the ultimate level of friendships that we can reach, our relationships can’t reach to a better state even if I have mental wills.
This thought came into being when one of my friend, maybe inadvertently or something else, neglected my feelings when I constantly hinted that I was in great need of him. I later came to know that maybe myself, at least to him, was just a transient traveler in his whole life. Although we are good buddies on the surface, how long can this companionship remain an immense power if we don’t keep in touch with each other often after we graduate? Unwilling to seek confirmation whether we are good friends or not, I began to doubt about my private view of companionship.
As to my relatives, friendship doesn’t seem like a essential thing in their lives. Friends are, they think, just passengers in the life road, of nothing special because we are always changing our living environment as well as friends. The only friend my mother preserves now is one of her classmates in high school, and this is the only one who have kept the friendship so long with my mother. This proves that most of friendships are likely to break down gradually by the scour of time. Hence, many adults view friendships not so important compared with other things in lives, for instance, families and vocations.
Nevertheless, I could not help feeling anxious when my good friends kept me aloof, although maybe they are unconsciously doing it. Those others don’t treasure don’t signify they are unimportant to me.
I was so pleased when my old friends one after another called me to talk about their present lives and the interesting things we had together. During the busy times in the university, the groovy memories are always my paradise to fall back on. The values of friendships to me are far beyond estimated.
The friend who neglected me when I asked him for help is a new guy who have just entered my circle of acquaintances. I admit that I forced the friendship into bloom too fast. Until now I haven’t open my innermost thoughts to much people yet, those who understand me most are the guys who have kept friendships with me over several years. The best friendships grow slowly, at an undetectable rate. How can you know whether a person is your real find or not without a long term ordeal? Without the firm foundations of the friendships accumulated by every pieces of affairs over a long time, you will find the relationships disappear so quickly just like soap bubbles blown into the air.
Perhaps the most acceptable friends is the one who always concerns about you, but this is only one kind of friends. I now understand that why my old buddy could keep such a long and firm friendship with me. He seldom mentions that what his opinions about me, or what impact I have brought to his life after we became good friends. He just sends short-messages to me occasionally, most of which are poems he has just written. They aren’t derivative ones, and they do establish the fact that he always has me in mind. The retrospection he brought to me is the happy moments we once had and the brotherly relationship which is bound to last forever.
Now I know what I am persuiting is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. For that is right.